Date Night: Orlando
Orlando has more culture than just Disney, Universal, and Sea World. There are many non-corporate, non-tourist, authentic things to do on your Friday night date with that someone special. I grew up near New York City where all you have to do is walk around Greenwich Village in the evening, and you'll find something fun to do. Likewise, a trip to Central Park on a Saturday afternoon will write your agenda for the day. With a little planning, a vast array of museums, art exhibits, street fairs, theaters, and movies are all available. Orlando is a different animal. The mom-and-pop restaurants, the Irish pubs, museums, festivals, etc. are all here, but you just have to look a little harder and drive a little further to get to them.
But, never mind all that. It was Friday night, and my date had free passes to the clubs at Universal City Walk. When 'free' is entered into the equation, all that 'authentic culture' mumbo jumbo goes right out the window. :-) City Walk is an area between the two Universal theme parks, Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure. You have to pay to get into the theme parks, but City Walk is free, save for the three dollar parking fee after 6pm (it used to be free parking after 6pm!). City Walk has a man made lake, promenade areas, restaurants, bars, clubs, shops, and various vendors and live music. It's actually not a bad place to take a date, especially a date with free passes.
First stop was a bite to eat. Unfortunately, the bar/club area was roped off for a private event that was going to run to 8:30pm. That left us with limited options for food. We chose Hard Rock Cafe over NASCAR Sports Grille and NBA City. I guess at this point we were as far from 'authentic' as can be, but a hamburger is a hamburger, and I was hungry! What follows is quite a baffling eating experience. We entered Hard Rock and waited on line to speak with the hostess. We inquired about the wait time (about 15 to 20 minutes), but the bar was first come first serve. Cool. We took the pager from the hostess and went to the bar for a drink, but luck was with us. As we entered the bar, a high-top table opened up, and we grabbed it. A waiter came by and informed us that these tables were controlled by the hostess, and that we had to wait for a table. I told him the hostess said that the bar was first come first serve. He respond that bar, you know the bar stools around the actual bar, were first come first server, but the tables in the bar were not. Well, duh! Of course the bar stools are first come first serve. Who ever heard of reserving a bar stool? Any way there was no room at the bar, and we didn't feel like standing around.
It was time for my date to take control. She works in the hospitality industry and knows the ins and outs of customer service. She led me to the upstairs dining room where there must be another bar (and there was). As we reached the top of the stairs, we were asked if we received tickets from the hostess downstairs. We said we just wanted to get a drink at the bar. The nice man said we could 'look around'. Having no idea what the hell he was talking about, we went and looked at the bar, and then we sat down and looked at the bar tender and ordered a couple of beers. No sooner than the first drops of brew touched my lips, the pager went off. I quickly paid for the beer, and off we went to the hostess station at the top of the stairs. We were informed that we needed to go back downstairs to the main hostess station; they would help us. Down we went to the hostess station and handed in our buzzing and blinking pager. In return, we received two paper tickets and were informed to go back upstairs. At this point, I'm dizzy with hunger, but we trekked back upstairs and meet the nice gentleman again. He took one of the tickets from us, handed us a Fender Stratocaster for us to both hold and took our picture. (Later during dinner, a woman came by with our photo already printed out and tried to sell it to us for 20 bucks. My date and I surmised that since she had a digital camera and I own a Strat that we could take our own damn picture for free and told her to bug off -- politely).
We handed the second ticket to the hostess who escorted us on an epic journey around a cavernous Hard Hard Cafe (with many empty tables, by the way -- the wait must have been due to not having enough staff because tables were sitting empty) to our table. After all that, we ate our mediocre, overpriced meals while 80s hair metal videos played on the big screen next to us. While waiting for the check, I excused myself to use the rest room. Along, the way I marveled at the rock & roll memorabilia adorning the walls of the Hard Rock. It was when I saw a framed pair of shoes worn by the lead singer of Stone Temple Pilots at some awards show that I knew it was time to leave. I was going to try to see if I could find a the cummerbund worn by the lead singer of Soundgarden at his brother's wedding, but it was getting late.
If it wasn't for the company and conversation, the Hard Rock would have been a total bust, but our next stop was far more enjoyable. Using one expired coupon, my date sweet talked the woman at the door of City Walk's Rising Star into waiving the cover charge for both of us! She has a way with people that I do not. If I was alone, the woman at the door would have talked me into paying for two cover charges somehow. Rising Star is a karaoke bar where customers sing karaoke with a live band. The band at this club was tight. The host and the backup singers had killer voices. The guitar, bass, drums, and keyboard players were all top notch. It was a bit cheesy, but keep in mind that this is a family-friendly tourist establishment. My date performed a beautiful rendition of Let it Be, but I chickened out (maybe next time, with a little more liquid encouragement). My favorite moment of the night was when this very shy, nervous looking man walked on stage wearing jeans and a white button down. He looked petrified! But, when the music started, he belted out an amazing rendition of Mustang Sally. As Gloria Estefan warned us, "the rhythm is gonna get you", and I guess it got the dude that night.
So, date night in Orlando. There is lots to do, but make sure you bring a date that can get you into places for free and eat before you go if you plan on visiting the Hard Rock.
Have We Met Before?
I was at a party a couple of years back, and I noticed a woman from across the room. I know this is a cliché, but I was standing in a crowded room, and she was sitting on a chair at the other side. An attractive woman, I thought I had seen here before. Her face was so familiar… Maybe she and I worked at the same company? Perhaps I saw her at the Magic game or at Publix? I was certain I had never met her at church, mostly because I haven’t attended church in over 20 years.
“Go talk to her,” the Voice in my head prodded me. The Voice was smart. It knew that I wasn’t seeing anybody, she was sitting alone, and the Voice swore that it saw her glace in my direction. The Voice insisted, “She’s checking you out, dude!” I didn’t know what to say, but she did look familiar, so I could use that as my ‘in,’ my ‘ice-breaker’, my ‘line.’ So, I checked my hair (yup still there) and walked confidently over to her.
“You know, you look so familiar. Have we met before?” I asked.
“No, I don’t think so.” She replied coldly.
“Do you work for (company where I work)? I tried again.
“No, I do not.” She said, emphasizing each word.
Panic struck me. She was looking at me like I was on fire, literally. “Bail! Bail! Bail!” the Voice screamed. This was my own personal Vietnam. I went in with no exit strategy.
“I guess you have one of those faces…” I offered.
“Bravo! [Slow sarcastic clapping] Way to charm her!” The Voice in my head moaned.
“No, we’ve never met.” The tone of her voice told me the conversation was over, so I said, “Oh, OK. Bye.” Then I did the slow ‘walk of shame’ back to my place against the wall…on the OTHER side of the room.
I think that every man can identify with this story, at least every guy that I know. I’m sure that guys with Brad Pitt looks and Bill Gates money... probably not so much. Getting shot down, or more precisely, ‘going down in flames’ has happened to me before, and it will happen again, but each time I get rejected I’m never prepared. It’s so humiliating. Most women don’t know this feeling of rejection, but it is a rite of passage for dudes. If getting rejected is so painful then why do I keep trying to interact with other human beings? I would have to say… trying to avoid dying alone is up there as a reason.
Seriously, my rejection by the woman at the other side of the room was her loss, and if she had been friendly, we hit it off, and became a couple; we would probably wind up breaking up and hating each other eventually anyway. So, you see, there’s an upside to all this! Too bitter? Let’s just end with this: it was her loss, and there are plenty of fish in the sea. Besides, never mind her, there was this other woman down the hall from where I was standing, and the Voice in my head…
