Windows Ocho
When I started this blog five months ago, I never thought that I would someday be lucky enough to break a huge story, let alone one with an anonymous source deep inside one of the largest corporations in the world! I've been sitting on this story since April 1st of this year, but my source would not allow me to print it until he could verify the information.
According to my source, a high-level employee of Micr0soft, the next version of Windows (Windows 8) will have an app store in which ALL Windows software will be distributed! Modeled after the hugely successful Apple app store for iPhone and iPad, the Windows app store will be a 'one stop shop' for all software applications that a user wishes to install on their Windows system.
Apparently, the idea for a Windows app store (not to be confused with the app store available for Windows Phone) had been kicked around for a couple of years in Redmond, but it was the successful launch of Apple's iPad that convinced Microsoft that customers are willing to give up some freedom in exchange for the perception of increased security and quality. My source says that the Microsoft sees the iPad as a full computer, not a 'large format' iPod or iPhone. They are convinced that Apple will, over the next few years, make the iPad more and more powerful, phase out their notebook computers, and eventually all of Apple's products will be tied to app stores. Not wanting to fall behind Apple any further, Microsoft will introduce the Windows app store for Windows 8 first.
Below is my source's list of benefits and restrictions for software deployment on Windows 8:
- All software for Windows 8 will be distributed via the Windows App store including both consumer and enterprise applications.
- Software developers will need to submit their applications to Micorosft for approval. Microsoft will use the approval process to weed out malware (spyware, viruses, etc), poorly written software that impedes the performance of Windows 8, pornography, hate speach, vulgarity, and anything else that Micosoft thinks customers will find offensive.
- In addition to applicaitons developed by large vendors, such as Adobe and Apple, all custom developed software will need to be aproved by Microsoft via the app store.
- Microsoft will continue to allow Adobe Flash on Windows 8, but other software has not yet been approved (and may never be ): Firefox, Chrome, iTunes, Safari -- just to name a few.
The shift to a closed system controlled by Microsoft is a bombshell, no doubt, but the biggest news is that 'Windows 8' is just the code name for the next version of Windows. The real name will be Windows Ocho! It seems that MS execs want to capitalize on the popularity of NFL wide receiver Chad Ochocinco, in an attempt to appeal to the 'kids'. Not THAT is a little hard to believe, wouldn't you say?
Choose Wisely
If you are a regular reader, you know that Larry the Raccoon passed away in a tragic trash compactor accident. It is sad, but do not despair. Last night Larry came to me in a dream with an urgent plea. He told me that he was stuck in limbo and needed my help to find the door to heaven. Even though I was racked with guilt over Larry's death (I may have hit the 'compact' button accidentally when closing the dumpster door), and I had some extra spicy Pad Thai right before going to sleep, I'm confident that Larry truly contacted me from beyond and needs my help taking the next step to eternal happiness.
This is the dilemma that Larry is facing. Upon arriving in the afterlife, Larry was confronted with two doors. On either side of the doors stood two Gamorrean guards. A placard above the doors read:
The Bandit
That darn raccoon is back. As I wrote in a previous post, the other day I went to throw out the trash, and as I opened the door to the dumpster/compactor, I was confronted by a raccoon noshing on some leftovers. Suffice it to say, the Raccoon outwitted me, and I had to leave my bag of trash by the side of the dumpster and walk away defeated.
Now he's back, and this time it's personal! I wasn't going to be beaten twice by a dude that lives in garbage. Well, there was that time in the 34th Street subway that a man beat me in a game of cribbage while living in his own filth, but no garbage dwelling man (or creature) beats me three times!
I walked up the trash compactor, opened the door, and said, "Listen! I have a bag of trash here, and I mean to compact it, and not you, or anybody that looks like you is going to stop me! What do you have to say about that, bro?" Just then, the raccoon jumped back behind an empty box of wine. Success! I had met my adversary on the field of battle and vanquished him. I placed the trash bag into the compactor and started to close the door. Just then, I heard a small voice say, "I'm not your bro."
